


Rescue Party

by Vanessa_Cocotea



Category: Bernice Summerfield (Big Finish Audio), Doctor Who: Eighth Doctor Adventures - Various Authors
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:39:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanessa_Cocotea/pseuds/Vanessa_Cocotea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From 2007:</p><p>Benny attacks the Doctor, makes him ill and gets him dirty. They also freak out an alien by telling the truth and doing impersonations - which also freaks out dozens of other aliens as well. A very memorable holiday season indeed. Oh, and the Doctor can't spell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rescue Party

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first proper Benny story. So the characterisation is a bit wobbly. I hope it's improved since then - even though, I still only know Benny through The Dying Days and fan fiction.

Benny Summerfield contemplated the horrifically long line of alcohol choices that were lined up on her sideboard. Maybe she should have accepted at least ONE of those Christmas invites. If she had, she wouldn't now be plotting a solo Christmas Eve alcohol-filled orgy. She removed a bottle of boysenberry-flavoured champagne and smiled. She'd appropriated it from the Doctor's wine cellar in the TARDIS. If she'd just asked him, she thought, he probably would have just given it to her. But sneaking it was more fun. She'd start her booze orgy with this, she decided. She prepared to pop the cork.

"Come quietly and nobody gets hurt! I've got a large carrot and I'm not afraid to use it!" Benny knew THAT voice! She squirmed away from the hand covering her mouth and turned round. The Doctor was standing there, grinning at her and twirling a large carrot. He'd traded his usual grey silk cravat for a red silk one. Benny thought it looked a little glaring with his chestnut curls, but still, very festive.

"Fancy seeing you here!" They both spoke at once.

"You first." Benny said, grinning.

"No, ladies first!" The Doctor grinned. Benny raised a finger, then smiled. That gentlemanliness was one of the things she liked best about this incarnation.

"All right. I passed on too many invites. I kept thinking I'd get a better one, and now, I'm having a party with my poor excuse for a wine cellar. I was just about to start drowning my sorrows, but now.. God! That sounds so cliched, "Drowning my sorrows." Benny rolled her eyes, then looked at the Doctor and immediately got ideas for much better - and more "intimate", Christmas Eve and Christmas celebrations. "Your turn."

He looked her straight in the eye. "I had a desire to see an old friend for Christmas and I hoped I might be lucky enough to find you in. Preferably, having a wild party with hundreds of people!" He smiled.

"Hundreds of people?!?! In THIS flat?!?! You've been living in the TARDIS too long, Doc!" She laughed. "And you, my dear Doctor, are the only one I'd allow to crash a party of mine! Some of the idiots I've had in the past...incredible. Anyway, what did you have in mind? And NOT just with the carrot." She eyed him sceptically. "Just what is that carrot for, anyway?"

"Come and see." He grinned, leading the way to the TARDIS parked in back of Benny's building. He stopped. "Benny, where did you get that boysenberry champagne? It's not available anywhere on Earth, that I'm aware of, anyway. Benny?" It was his turn to look sceptical.

She coloured. "I...um...ah...nicked it from your wine cellar the last time I was there." She grinned sheepishly.

"Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny! If you'd only asked, I would have given it to you! You know that."

"I was in a mood. I just wanted to..."

He held up a hand. "Don't. I don't want to know. Anyway, here's our transport for the evening." He beamed at a sledge with two reindeer that was standing in the console room. He walked over and, after pulling a second carrot out of his pocket, fed carrots to the animals. " Told you I knew how to use a carrot!" He laughed. " I must admit though, it was quite fun imagining what you'd thought I meant."

"Cute one, Doc. Cute one. So where are we going that would need a sledge and reindeer? I take it, we are not going to the North Pole?"

"Exactly. I thought you might like a little trip to..." He mentioned the name of a planet. But Benny could not make head nor tail of the name. It sounded like "Zizzubivvitts."

"And just what do we do on Zizzu-whatsitsface?"

"Enter the sleigh-writing competition, of course!" The Doctor grinned at her.

"The what?"

"It's held every year, during their cold weather festal time. Many people from many different planets come. An event is held to honour each culture. The sleigh-writing race is for Earth. The idea is that you drive the sledge and reindeer in a snow-covered lane and try to accurately and legibly spell out a greeting. The best job wins." He made to remove the bottle of champagne from Benny, who still held it firmly in her grasp, even though it was like taking sweets from a baby. Very difficult, but not impossible. "You'll need a clear head for this. " He smiled. "Fancy a go?" The bottle slipped into his pocket. She'd need it after the race.

"Oh, well. Yeah, sure. Why not?" She put on warm clothes from the TARDIS wardrobe and as they got into the sledge, Benny asked, "How can you tell what you're doing? Is there some sort of navigational whatsit in the sledge?"

The Doctor gave her a dangerously amused look. "Something like that." They'd landed. The TARDIS opened the doors herself. The Doctor called to the reindeer, "Lay on, Macduffs!" - slightly paraphrasing the Bard as there was only one 'Macduff' in the scene in 'Macbeth'. Then off they flew to the racing site.

********

"It's BLUE! The bloody snow is BLUE!" Benny exclaimed, then shrugged. "Cool. By the way, do these reindeer of yours have names?"

"Fred and Bob."

"Fred and Bob?! How dreadfully dull! Poor things. Couldn't you have thought of something a bit more imaginative, more Christmassy?"

The Doctor looked slightly hurt. "I did. But, 'Scrooge' and 'Cratchit' were partially misleading. Didn't want to give them a complex, so I settled on 'Fred' and 'Bob'. He smiled.

Benny groaned. "So,'Fred Scrooge' - as in Scrooge's nephew and 'Bob' - as in 'Bob Cratchit'. Right. That's Christmassy enough, I guess." She looked at the registration sign. "Ohh, blast! We're early. So what do we do now?" She grinned."Up for a couple of blue snow angels, Doc?"

"Why not?" They got out and carefully plopped in the snow beside the sledge. As they moved their arms and legs Benny asked, "So how did you hear about this place, Doctor?"

"Simple. I was just searching the TARDIS database for unusual Christmas customs and found it. I hope your driving skills are good."

"Mine are dreadful and my spelling has its moments. What? You can't drive? Wait. Don't answer that." She laughed.

The Doctor looked hurt again. "My driving skills are fine." She looked at him quizzically. "Well, all right, they've improved. Considerably. I just thought you'd enjoy being at the reins."

"Nah, it might be fun, but they're all yours, Doctor." She got up to inspect her angel. It wasn't bad. The Doctor was inspecting his. One arm was slightly longer than the other, but it wasn't too bad, either.

"Ahhhh!" He cried. Benny had spot-on snowball-throwing aim. "Right." In seconds, blue snowballs were whizzing by and there was a grand old fight on.

********

"AHEM!" They stopped abruptly, and saw the organiser brushing snow from himself and not looking particularly amused, but not angry, either.

"Oops." Benny and the Doctor replied, both blushing. "Sorry, Sir."

"Offworlders!" The man muttered. Never a dull moment with them roaming the place. He turned to the Doctor and Benny. "Now if you've quite finished, we need to get you registered. Names and planets of origin, please?"

"Which 'planets of origin' did you mean, Mister...ah?" The Doctor enquired, in all innocence.

"Caratinbata. Ruu Carotinbata. What do YOU mean, Sir, by 'which planets of origin'?" Carotinbata gave the Doctor a very curious look. He'd seen plenty of offworlders, but this one was going to be something different. The Doctor - and Benny, for that matter, were both thinking bureaucrats were the same the universe over.

"I meant, do you want to know where I was born, or which planet I'm currently residing on? I hope it's not that, because I don't 'reside' on a planet." The Doctor said infuriatingly. Benny laughed. The origaniser, Mr. Ruu Carotinbata, began violently coughing. The Doctor walked over and helpfully pounded the man on the back. It didn't help. Carotinbata started hiccuping.

Benny immediately leapt in front of the poor man and bellowed, "ROAWWWWRRRR!" He jumped four feet in the air and screamed. But he did stop hiccuping. Then he gave them the most extraordinary look, said, "Excuse me!", and dashed off. Benny and the Doctor looked at each other perplexedly and shrugged. They were contemplating a couple of more snow angels, when Carotinbata came back - with the distinct scent of brandy on his breath.

"Ahem. Now, Miss. May I have YOUR name and planet of origin, please?" He was thinking if he got one sensible answer, he could cope with a more 'unusual' one.

"Professor Bernice S. Summerfield. I'm currently residing on Earth." Benny beamed at Carotinbata. He looked away for a moment, then back. "Thank you, Miss." He steeled himself and looked towards the Doctor. "Now you, Sir?" He held up a hand. "Is there a planet you spend any particular amount of time on?"

The Doctor grinned. "Oh, well, that would be Earth. But then, I have been back to my home planet of Gallifrey quite a bit, lately. An assortment of strange commissions for the Time Lords. Of course, the one commission was quite..."

"EARTH will do, Sir. Now, your name, please?"

"Just call me, 'Doctor'. I'm afraid you couldn't pronounce my real name."

"Try me." Carotinbata was looking towards his brandy bottle again and thinking.

The Doctor gave his real name. Carotinbata looked at him stupidly. The Doctor smiled. Benny giggled.

"Well, then, DOCTOR, and Miss Summerfield, if you'll step this way, we'll get your identity badges." Carotinbata mentally put "bring brandy" on the agenda for after his breaktime.

********

Registration over, the Doctor drove himself and Benny to the starting point in their designated lane. Benny was staring at the 'heads-up' display that had magically appeared about a foot in front of their eyes. So that was the navigational aid the Doctor had hinted at. Not bad. They smiled at each other, anxious to be off. They'd chosen a 'simple' "Merry Christmas" as the greeting they would attempt to write. A second later, the 'heads-up' display beeped and flashed the word 'go'. They sped off.

Benny had good cause still to worry about the Doctor's driving. His hairpin turns nearly had her out of the sledge and he seemed to catch every bump in the lane. They were also, it seemed to Benny, going about a hundred kilometers an hour. The Doctor laughed through the whole ride. Benny had to admit that, while it scared the daylights out of her, it was incredibly exhilarating and fun. She couldn't wait to find out what they'd actually written. It was over in about fifteen hair-raising minutes. At the end of the course, they just sat in their sledge catching their breath. Then they looked up at the giant screen over the organisers' stand. Benny broke out corpsing at their results. The Doctor facepalmed and groaned. But he ended up laughing, too.

They'd come in third, which was something of a miracle, considering what they'd written. It had come out: "Meryr HCrismtas!s" And several of the letters were upside-down. Carotinbata came over with their third place prize. He had a somewhat triumphant look on his face. Benny and the Doctor looked at their prize. It was a bottle of boysenberry-flavoured brandy! They both burst into uncontrollable laughter. The organiser walked off, shaking his head.

Benny exclaimed, "Give me that! I need a drink. You're still a lousy driver, Doctor! But at least you didn't pitch me into the snow. Cheers!" And she tipped the bottle to her lips. The Doctor sighed and applied his own lips to the champagne bottle he'd taken from his pocket. "Cheers, my dear Professor!" They were soon napping off their prize in the TARDIS, parked a kilometer or so away from the competition site. The sledge was parked in the grove and garden area of the TARDIS. Fred and Bob had fed on grass in the fairy meadow and were now enjoying a well-deserved rest.

********

They woke an hour or so later, still a bit groggy, but ravenous. Earlier the Doctor had spotted a marquee near the competition site that was offering good old Earthly Belgian-style waffles and a variety of beverages - none of which were alcoholic! Perfect for a light supper before they embarked on the Doctor's next plan for the night. They decided to dine there. Even Benny had had enough alcohol and never said a word. The waffles were delicious. During the meal, the Doctor gave a hint or two about what he had planned next. He explained that he couldn't explain fully till they got back to the TARDIS, but said they would be impersonating someone, and it would be here on Zizzu-whatsit and that Benny would love it. She eyed him suspiciously. The Doctor often had weird ideas about what she would love, but she had loved the sleigh-writing competition. So, who knew? Maybe she'd like his next idea too. One thing was certain, it was guaranteed to be interesting. They walked back to the TARDIS.

********

"Ah! Good." The Doctor walked straight to the console, where he picked up a carton filled with what looked like some form of fireworks rockets. He looked towards the overhead scanner. "Thanks, Nick!" He placed the carton on the floor and called Benny over and began to explain.

"I've always wondered what the effect on another planet would be if someone were to deliver gifts on Christmas Eve, Santa-style. I asked Nick to send me some of his secret weapons for the chimneys and for an idea of my own. That's what the rockets are for. I thought it might be fun to try it here on Zizzu-whatsit tonight. Care to be my elf helper, Benny? " The Doctor looked hopefully at her.

"Hmm. Why can't I be Santa and YOU be MY elf helper?"

"Benny..." She gave him a look and he held up a hand. "I know women portray Santa in shopping malls on Earth, but have you ever seen one of Santa helper elves that was taller than he was? You're shorter than I am, you'd make a better elf. Please?" He asked, almost pleadingly.

Benny got the distinct impression he had something up his sleeve, so she relented. "All right. But what do we give everybody? And do we just leave things for the children, or for adults as well?"

"I thought it might be fun to present everybody with something from your world. Mine is a little boring, as gifts go. Although there are some beautiful flowers. But they wouldn't be very practical for tossing down a chimney, would they?"

"Not really, no. That's a tough one, Doc." She screwed up her face in thought. "There's books, music, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep." She grinned.

"Benny." The Doctor shook his head. "I'm surprised you didn't add teddy bears to that list. Although those would be good for any small children. The old adage says one should give something one would like to receive oneself. Unfortunately, that rules out your answer, doesn't it? It would cause a serious drop in my wine cellar!" He chuckled.

"And the infamous chia pets, we can't forget those!" She was starting to giggle, quite alarmingly. "Well, you said you wanted something unique to Earth." She giggled defencively.

"Benny, be serious. Although, that would certainly be unusual. I must have some knocking about the TARDIS somewhere. I'll just have a quick look round while you get your elf costume on." With that, he disappeared off into the depths of the TARDIS.

********

Benny laughed till the tears ran down her face, though the sight wasn't THAT funny! The Doctor had his 'Santa' costume on. It wasn't exactly 'traditional'. In fact, he was wearing his usual velvet, linen and silk. The difference was that, apart from the shirt - which was still white, everything else was red - including his socks and shoes! Red velvet frock coat, red silk cravat, red brocade waistcoat, red linen trousers and red socks - with jingle bells on! Okay. THAT was funny. And, lastly, red shoes. And then there was the only 'traditional' thing he had on. A Santa hat perched jauntily on his curls. Benny laughed till she cried.

"Oh my." She gasped out. "Santa would freak!"

The Doctor mumbled, rather dejectedly, "Oh dear. I thought I looked rather good. Maybe I'd better go change."

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Benny shouted. "It's priceless! And, honestly, I love it! An elegant Santa. Who would have thought? No, Doc, seriously, you do look wonderful. Please, don't change. Sorry I laughed." She grinned.

"It's all right. You look very good, by the way." He looked approvingly at her. "Now, where is that sack?"

"Thanks, Doctor! I think I see your sack under the piano, over by the plants." She pointed.

"Ah, good! Thanks." He brought it over to the stack of assorted chia pets and the assortment of teddies. Benny thought it amazing the amount of stuff the TARDIS had. It seemed like there was a special gift room somewhere in her. The Doctor always seemed to have gifts for all occasions. Trust him to have a supply of new unopened chia pets, of all things! Of course, it was most likely due to his constantly picking up every freaky and unusual thing he came across on planets all across the universe. The TARDIS must be an expert at groaning by now - in every sense of the word! Benny helped pack the gifts into the red velvet sack.

"So how do we know what to give where?" Benny asked. "Surely, you're not suggesting we spy in people's windows?"

The Doctor grinned. "Well, I had thought of that..." He teased. "I do have this amazing periscope thing. You'd love it. But in the end, I decided to simply check the TARDIS databanks for the population demographics for tonight. Much easier that way. And more courteous, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Obviously." She knew he was definitely in a good mood. Taking the mickey was proof. But she'd get her own back - double!

********

Soon they were flying through the Zizzubivvitts night sky, which had a slight burgundy tinge to it. Fred and Bob were happy to be off again. They flew smoothly and confidently. The Doctor's curls flew past the edges of his Santa hat. He looked exceedingly happy. Benny was quite thrilled herself and definitely glad she was wearing long johns under her elf costume. They landed smoothly, and surprisingly quietly, on top of the first house. The Doctor began to take out the appropriate items for the house and to explain the rockets.

"As the jolly old elf can hardly go down a chimney when the fireplace is 'in business', he needs a way to - temporarily, douse the flames. These first rockets contain a chemical that douses the flames, just long enough for him to make a delivery, then they go on again. We're obviously not going to actually go into the houses. What we're going to do, is to send the presents down on these other rockets. They have a specially designed fuse just long enough to get the things down through the chimney and into the room safely. A request of mine that Nick was kind enough to knock up for me. Ingenious, don't you think?" The Doctor beamed.

"Oh, very clever! Well done, both of you! So what do I do?"

"You can attach the rockets to the presents, like so." He demonstrated. Then he shot a 'flame' rocket down the first chimney while Benny attached the first gift to a 'delivery' rocket. That done, the Doctor shot it down the chimney, quietly shouting, "Bombs away!" They heard a slight whoosh as the gift made its way down the chimney. They heard it land and the Doctor took out his periscope and checked everything was okay. It was. The rockets worked perfectly. But he was so caught up in marvelling at the success of them and Nick's obvious genius at gift delivery, that Benny had to remind him to bring up his periscope before the fireplace went back on! He just made it!

"Whew! That was close. Thanks!" He looked down the chimney, imagining the faces of the people the next morning. That would be a photograph! They packed up to go on to the next house.

While they were flying to the next place, Benny said, giggling, "Well, Doc, I never could have imagined in a million years, I'd be divebombing chia pets down chimneys on an alien planet on Christmas Eve. You certainly know how to surprise a lass, don't you?"

"I aim to please" He chuckled, then looked at her curiously. "Benny, why is it everything you say seems to sound like a 'double entendre'?"

Benny grinned wickedly. "I aim to please!" The Doctor groaned, shook his head, then softly chuckled.

After about a dozen homes, Benny decided she wanted to try delivering gifts, after all. So the Doctor handed over to her for a go. Everything went smoothly, but when they turned to get back into the sledge, they heard a cry from below. They carefully glanced over the edge of the roof and who did they see, peering up in amazement, but Mr. Ruu Carotinbata! They couldn't see his features all that clearly - well, the Doctor could, actually, he had excellent night vision - but they'd know that posture anywhere!

"Time to go, I think!" The Doctor said. So they got back into the sledge for their next destination, leaving Carotinbata gaping up at the sky! Heaven only knew what he was thinking!

********

They finished the rest of their deliveries in a couple of hours and flew back to the TARDIS for a well-earned rest. But, firstly, they had something to eat as they were both starving. They slept halfway through Christmas Day. They awoke around 2 pm and exchanged presents. It was quite amusing as both had bought presents for the other at the waffle marquee on Zizzubivvitts AND had managed to conceal them - firstly, in the sledge, and secondly, in the TARDIS till Christmas Day! Benny had got the Doctor a huge jug of the cinnamon-flavoured syrup he'd used on his waffles on Zizzubivvitts and had fallen in love with. He was ecstatic and thanked her profusely. He had got Benny a huge pot of the lavender-flavoured ice cream she'd had as her waffle topping and fallen in love with. She, loving her present, also enthusiastically thanked the Doctor. Both the jug and the pot were done in the lavender-speckled pottery that was so popular on Zizzubivvitts.

********

They spent the rest of Christmas - and the next few days afterwards, just mooching round the TARDIS as she flew through the vortex. They did a number of things, including seeing films in the cinema, listening to music in the library, picnicking in the butterfly room and a variety of other activities, including not a little lovemaking all over the TARDIS. They also played 'hide and seek'. It was Benny's turn to hide. It took the Doctor all of two minutes to find her. He went straight to the wine cellar and caught her behind the middle racks, just as she was about to pop the pull tab on a large can of Betelgeusian lager. Grinning, he silently walked over to her, bent down, and, hoisting her over his shoulder, carried her out of the cellar.

"Hey! Not fair! Can't a person sneak a quick drink before she hides for REAL?" She protested. "Careful! You'll make me spill my...What the...? How did you manage to sneak my lager away from me? I never felt a thing!" Benny exclaimed in amazement.

The Doctor tapped the side of his nose. "That would be telling, wouldn't it, now?"

Benny giggled. "I will get you back for this, you know that, don't you?"

"I'm sure you will, Professor. I'm sure you will." He carried her back to the console room. "So what would you like to do next?"

She thought for a moment, then smiled, almost evilly. "Doctor? I challenge you to a milkshake drinking competition. The loser has to wear nothing but a 'Baby New Year' nappy all New Year's Day!"

"You're on! And what does the winner get?"

"To enjoy - all day, the sight of you in nothing but a nappy!"

"And who says you'll win, my dear Benny?"

"I do!"

"Off to the kitchen then, where I shall prove you wrong!"

********

The TARDIS kitchen finished up looking like a bomb site! They made milkshake after milkshake. One thing was certain. They both would not want to see the sight of ice cream for sometime to come. They each sat back to take a breather.

"Ready to call it quits, Benny?" The Doctor asked. He was ahead at the moment.

"Never!" Benny cried and ploughed into her sixth milkshake.

"Ahh!" cried the Doctor and dashed to make his eighth. After about twenty minutes, the score was an even 11 to 11. They were both slowing down, but refusing to give up. It was when they were each working their way through their 13th milkshake, when, all of a sudden, the Doctor started to make a funny noise and, a second later, he threw up! Benny triumphantly finished the last drops of her thirteenth and cried, "YES!" Then she looked at the Doctor.

"You are all right, aren't you?"

"At the moment, no. In a few minutes, yes, I will be. Oh dear. It seems this New Year's Day will go down as my most embarrassing! But a bet is a bet. You win, Benny. Congratulations!" He paused. "Are YOU all right?"

"Thanks, Doctor! Yes, I'm all right. A little nauseous, but I'm fine. After all, for me, this will be a great New Year's Day!" She smiled. "I'm ready for bed. But I'm not sleepy - if you take my meaning?" Benny was incorrigible and insatiable, thought the Doctor.

"It's all go with you, isn't it?" He sighed, but the idea wasn't entirely unappealling. "Just let me recover first, okay?" He smiled.

"That shouldn't take long, what with your Time Lord powers of recovery. Should it?"

He just laughed. "Lead the way, Benny, dear. Just lead the way!"

********

It was the day of the 31st, New Year's Eve. And the Doctor's 'birthday' - the day this incarnation, his eighth, had begun. Benny waltzed into the console room, carrying two intriguing items in her arms. She had been busy plotting something with the TARDIS and now was the time. She marched up to the Doctor. He'd been standing beside the bookshelves with a music book in his hands. He was trying to learn the Gaelic lyrics to "Auld Lang Syne".

"Doctor? Come with me, please."

"Why? Anything wrong?" He looked at her curiously.

"No, nothing's wrong." She took the book out of his hands and tucked it under her arm. "Just come with me, okay?"

"All right." She took the bemused Doctor's hand and led him to his bedroom door. He looked tiredly at her. "Benny, don't you ever get enough?"

She laughed. "That's not it. I'm confining you to quarters. I've got to finish getting something ready and I don't want you wandering round and ending up spoiling my surprise. Here." She handed him a thermos and a packet of his favourite custard creams. She grinned at the look on his face. "I'll let you out when everything's ready. Oh, and, here." She placed the music book on his bedside table. "You've got tea, biscuits and your lyrics to learn. That should keep you busy long enough for me to finish." As Benny went out, she blew him a kiss, noticing he was still wearing the same baffled look. She laughed and went to the room she and the TARDIS were preparing.

********

In the meantime, the Doctor laid down on his bed, book in one hand and a custard cream in the other. Whatever Benny was plotting with the TARDIS, it was bound to be absolutely insane - and thoroughly enjoyable. Benny had quite an imagination. The Doctor also reflected, rather ruefully, that it would probably involve something rather rude. It was Benny, after all. He couldn't wait. He poured more tea into the combination thermos cap/cup.

********

Benny was busy checking to make sure the nozzles on the wall controls were working properly. She couldn't wait to see the Doctor's face when everything came shooting out of the walls. She just hoped he was a good wrestler. Good. Everything was working fine. She went to get him. This would be a riot! She arrived at his bedroom door, to hear him singing. He was a quick study. Okay, so she knew about two words in Gaelic, but he sounded good to her. She turned the key in the lock and opened the door.

"Hey, you can come out now."

"Finally! I've been out of tea and biscuits for ages and I could now sing the Gaelic lyrics to "Auld Lang Syne" backwards. What that's for?" Benny had come near him with a piece of black fabric. "Oh, no. Not a blindfold. Benny, I am capable of keeping my eyes closed, you know!" He failed miserably, at pretending to be miffed. He was actually quite pleased about it all. He was anticipating a thoroughly enjoyable New Year's Eve and birthday. It would help ease the embarrassment of the nappy on New Year's Day. Benny put the blindfold on him and led him away.

Once through the door - with him still blindfolded, she started to remove his frock coat. Then came his cravat, then his waistcoat, then the Doctor's hands came up to stay hers.

"Benny, what ARE you doing? And what is that noise? It sounds like the room's being flooded! What's going on? Where are we? And why do I need my clothes..." The Doctor started asking, before Benny wriggled a hand out of his grasp and put it over his mouth.

"Shhhh! You'll see. Just let me finish, okay? Trust me, you'll love it." Benny said, scaring the Dickens out of the Doctor. But he was seething with curiosity, so he let her continue. While she was undressing him, she was also undressing herself, alternating between the pair of them. The gushing sound stopped a few minutes after she'd finished completely undressing the Doctor and herself. She removed the blindfold and the Doctor gaped, speechless, at the sight. Then, with a loud, "WOOHOO!", Benny pushed him into the room - straight into a bizarre mix of chocolate, baked beans and soapsuds! He'd barely surfaced and had barely stopped sputtering, when she began to wrestle him round the room!

"Benny! What in the name of...? Oooof!" During her wrestling antics, Benny had accidentally planted a knee in the Doctor's stomach!

"C'mon, Doc! Haven't you always wanted to wrestle with a woman in a mixture of chocolate, baked beans and soapsuds?" Benny giggled.

"Can't say as I have, no. What a thing to do to chocolate!" He spat out a mouthful of the stuff, "Wherever did you get the idea for this? And how did you find this room? I've been looking for an empty room for ages. I need more room to store my tea supplies."

"You've seen the movie, 'Tommy', right? Surely, you remember the scene where Ann-Margret's beautiful white room gets deluged with all of this stuff and then she has a right field day rolling round in it? Well, I thought it would be really daft, but fun to do sometime. Today seemed like a great day to try it. So the TARDIS helped me find the perfect room and I thought you'd get a kick out of it, so here we are!" She finished proudly.

"Benny, you are daft, you do know that, don't you? But it is different. And, if it's fun in this mess you want...well, you asked for it!" He laughed and lunged for her, plopping her into the mess and started tickling her mercilessly. She squirmed frantically, with both of them corpsing the whole time. By the time they'd decided they'd had enough, they had the stuff all over - particularly in places on their bodies where they didn't even know they had places! They were exhausted, but thoroughly satisfied. They couldn't help laughing, when they thought of the job the TARDIS would have in clearing all this up! It was everywhere! They'd even manged to get it on the ceiling during their rambunctious escapades! As for cleaning themselves up, they made for the Doctor's ensuite bathroom with its marble tub. As the Doctor was soon to discover, Benny and the TARDIS had been at work there as well.

"Benny, it's amazing!" The Doctor gazed in appreciation at his transformed bathroom. Candles were everywhere. Everything was in white and gold. It was beautiful. Then the Doctor noticed the bath water. It wasn't water. It was champagne. Very expensive, very high quality brut champagne! The finest in his cellar. And there was the music - Mozart's 'Piano Concerto No.21 in C major, K.467 II Andante'.

"Oh, Benny. It's incredible! Thank you!" He kissed her cheek. They got into the tub, plunging fully under the champagne, then out again, till only their heads were above the champagne. Contented sighs came from them both. They swam round a bit, grinning at each other. The TARDIS magically spirited away the chocolate, baked bean and soapsuds mixture from the champagne and they took the opportunity to just lounge a bit. It was an incredible end to the year and an incredible birthday for the Doctor. But Benny wasn't finished yet.

"Happy Birthday, Doc!" She grinned wickedly at him. He looked at her curiously. She was up to something. "Oh, and a very Happy New Year!" Then she ducked her head under the champagne.

The End


End file.
